Standard

I looked at the writing
on a plastic container
of moist napkins.
On it said something like,
"Fits in a standard car cup holder."
And that word "standard" stuck in my head.
Some group of people had decided
what the size of a cup holder in a car
should be. And I imagined armies of
such people deciding the size and
shape and color and chemical composition
of all the objects in our everyday lives.
We have no say in this. They do what they
think is best for us. And they get paid to do it.

For some reason this frightens me.

A daydream:

I become the Cup Size Researcher.
I haunt all the places that sell cups.
I walk around Crate & Barrel and
Target and Ross and Marshall's
with my vernier calipers measuring
cups. I have to give the most weight to
coffee cups, because that is a priority
for drivers on their way to work in the morning.
And there are the Dixie Cups that hold the
drinks that you get in a Drive-Thru fast-food
restaurant. They need high consideration too.
I ignore skinny and fat cups and glasses.
Too bad if you want to drink from them!
They'll either slip through or not make it
into the hole of my Standard Car Cup Holder!
I am all powerful!

I wake from the daydream in a cold sweat.
Whew!